Didn't Think This Day Would Ever Come...

I was looking at some pictures on facebook and procrastinating on beginning my work for the week, when I came across a picture from sept. 21, 2005. I recently visited the place where this pic was shot 3 years previously, and I almost started crying.

I grieve for the person I was in that picture. The life I knew at that point in time, that only a month and a half later would be shattered. I grieve for my innocence and I grieve for what I lost, both family and personally. I would give anything to go back before November of 2005. Life was never easy growing up, but I had no idea what difficulties lay ahead of me. I had no idea what darkness, despair, anguish, pain and struggle lay ahead of me. I was so unaware on sept. 21, 2005. I was so innocent. I don't think I'll ever know as much happiness again. You can't ever go back to not knowing. And knowing is the worst.

...Now All I'm Feeling Is Lost And Numb.