Jan. 2, 2008 - Out Of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire.

My grad school orientation is tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM in Mt. Pleasant. I didn't even find that out until this morning. I have no place to live yet. I just signed up for 2 of 3 classes this evening and class starts in 5 days. The planning for this huge transition in my life has been, needless to say, quite absent. I hate not having a plan. It hurts me to not have a plan. In fact... the last 3 months of my life (concerning grad school) have been all to hell in a hand basket.

I know that things happened to my advantage and I know I got really lucky to have been accepted into the program so quickly. But the chaos, uncertainty, questions, and lack of communication (hmm... a bit odd right? should this be a HUGE siren going off?) have done wonders to my stress levels (on top of just trying to graduate from undergrad).

So here I sit... only 6.5 hours from departure, and I am sick to my stomach. Not cause I'm sick and not because I'm hungover from New Years still, but because this is what I do to myself. I make myself sick when I get stressed. I can't eat. I'm on the verge of crying, all of the time. But that is a combination of things.

I'm sad that I didn't get to mourn/celebrate graduation from undergrad. I got home and had a whirlwind week of Christmas festivities and sibling birthday celebration. And this last week has been spent searching for a place to stay, spending a day in Fremont, and figuring out what the hell orientation was going to happen and where. I got my grades back for my final semester and I had my best grades ever. I graduated with honors. These are huge things! I am DONE with school. If I wasn't continuing I would be done forever right now. Its sad. Its exciting. It is so emotionally tagged and I don't get to experience it. Yeah, I know that I'm done. But instead of reveling in the fact that I'm all done, I'm worried about not having anywhere to live. I'm worried about not having any classes yet. I'm worried that I might not have a job lined up with the comm department. I'm worried about my entire life's savings is going to be gone in a few days. I can't even be excited about starting school at Central because there is too much to be worried about.

It's down to the last minute and I'm really starting to feel the weight. My heart is going to explode if my stomach doesn't eat itself first.

Here's to higher education...