We'll Never Be Ready If We Keep Waiting For The Perfect Time To Come...

Where to begin...

I've signed my life away to Ohio State for the next four years. I received two rejection letters from Michigan State and a rejection letter and rejection e-mail from Purdue. As if I didn't get the message and feel bad about myself the first time around. I have still yet to hear from The University of Ohio and The University of Kentucky. I pay the pricks quite a bit of money jut to apply and they can't have the common decency to just tell me I'm not good enough. So I'll go where they want me. Cause quite frankly, who doesn't want to be somewhere they're wanted?

The thesis. Well, that's making me upset just having to talk about it. My advisor is the biggest ditz ever. And she has made my life a living hell because her head is nowhere except in the clouds. My thesis should/could have been done 2 to 3 months ago. Now I have more hoops to jump through. I have less than two months to collect my data (needless to say find the subjects in a dwindling summer school population to collect the data from), do data treatment, interpret the results, write up the final part of it, and do revisions. And, come to find out during my visit to Columbus last week that there is no grace period for me to finish my thesis. I can't begin school until its done. So yeah, I'm a bit pissed. Looks like I'll just be taking a TON of time off of work that I can't afford to. Cause little girl doesn't get paid by O. State. until the end of October. BLAH! I'm done being angry here. The thesis isn't done and it isn't for my lack of trying. The fact that I'm getting screwed in this whole thing by the person who is supposed to be facilitating my success makes me want to spit. But enough of that for now.

I've been dating a boy for a few months now. This boy was a student of mine last semester. I know I know... scandelous. Only kinda. He's a year older than I am. So we've been dating. Well, at least it started out as dating. I really thought I liked this kid. He enjoys things that I do, we have great conversations, and we have a lot of fun together. The kid acted like he really liked me for the first month we were dating. Called me everyday of his own accord, made comments like "I really like your friends", "I think your brother-in-law and I would really get long" and "Well, yeah, I want to go to the wedding. It will give us a chance to hang out." All statements from someone you think is really interested right? Maybe he was. He even wanted me to meet his entire family! Now he barely calls me. I barely get to see him as it is because he's in Mt. Pleasant/Lansing while I'm in GR and he works 7 days a week anywhere from 9 to 15 hours each day. Go figure. Well, the phone calls stopped coming. Every time I would write him off though and just accept it as it was, he would call me again. Then nothing again. Then I say oh well, I tried, and he calls me again. But after the texts I got from him the other night, I feel like I'm just a "booty call" for him. Which home girl does not do. I've been doing that dating thing for two years now. I'm tired of it. I'm looking for a friend and someone who wants to be around. Someone who cares and wants to hear how my day was and who wants to share life events, friends, and family with me. Not saying I need to get married anytime soon, or that I need a serious relationship. But it seems sucky that after two years of being single, I can't find a single person that I'm interested in. I think something might be wrong with me. Maybe I smell?

I know that all sounded like me being the single lonely girl that just really wants a boyfriend. That's not it at all. Quite frankly I enjoy the solitude most of the time and I like being able to do whatever I want whenever I want. But I do miss having that person around to share my life with. I want someone to hear the highs and lows and be genuinely interested in all of it, and want to share the same with me. I've got a big heart and a lot of love to offer. I just wish someone would accept it and reciprocate.


Anyway... Summer has been crazy busy. I have been in such high social demand I can't believe it! I am however beginning to feel guilty about not spending much time with the parentals. So I declined on an invitation to join Grit, Matty, etc. up in Baldwin and Silver Lake today. I went and had lunch with grams, took a walk through the fields at my park with my mom. We looked at the wildflowers and picked lots of blackberries and mulberries. It was an extremely enjoyable time.

I've also picked an apartment in Columbus to live in. It's a bit of a drive to campus, but I'm okay with that. Cause after only two visits to Columbus, I'm already feeling a bit overwhelmed at the size of the city and this will be at least a small escape into a wooded area where there are no woods. On top of that, the apartment is of a generous size with some extra perks, so if you are reading this, please come visit me. An open and standing invitation for anyone.




... Hold Me Steady, We'll Never Be Ready, And We Don't Know. Though We Can't See, Just Walk On Down This Road With Me.